Ode to my Mothers

So 20 years ago cancer took my mother. Yes those of you who know me well. 20 years. On this solemn anniversary I normally put something sweet in remembrance of my mother. But today I thought I would, instead, thank the ladies that picked up the slack in her absence. Buckle up kids, I’m sorry in advance.
These aren’t in any particular order.
Amy Chismar: My Aunt Amy who from the moment she lost her sister, and don’t let the blood lines confuse you, they were sisters by heart, she found a way for us to connect to mom anywhere and anytime. Literally the day we lost her. If you’re in the circle you know the story, if you’re not, sorry it’s our story. Did I mention she has also been keeping my mother’s seat warm at our children’s school functions?
Laurel Gay: My Aunt Lol. WAY before the funny acronym. She is the heart and warmth my mother exposed the whole family to. The hugs, the kisses, the first one at every family event and typically the last to leave in the best way imaginable. She can’t hear worth a damn but you can certainly see the love that she conveys. The love my mother brought to the Horvat family and still keeps in place today.
Gloria Kautz: Not my mother by birth but she truly is my other mother. She loves me, yes, but she keeps me in check too. “You’re keeping your hair like that?” “Looking a little grey there.” Exactly as my mother would have. Miles keep us separated but she is as much a part of this family as anyone. She was mom’s best friend and confidant and I never feel closer to my mother than when she’s around.
Ede Wenturine Binder: Nona Binder. Doctor Mom. I love this woman beyond words. She is my voice of reason when I’m concerned for the health of my little ones. The calming voice telling me to trust my gut and if I don’t, trust hers. The baker of sweet good things. A great friend to my mother and supporter of her son. Always rooting from the sidelines for my music and loving me and my family unconditionally as if we were hers’, because we are.
It’s in the moments after loss that you sit and wonder “How can I carry on without this person?”, “How will I ever survive?” and the answer to those questions lie in the people closest to you and that love you and have the same amount of loss invested in your loss. They truly feel your heart ache, because it aches like theirs does. That rhythmic emotion of pain turned into love.
Thank you for reading this if you made it through. I love you my mom’s and all the supporting cast that comes with them.

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